We’ve been anticipating Magic Mike
ever since the news of it being made first came out. We love Channing Tatum, and–let’s be real–we LOVE male strippers. So basically we’ve been waiting for this movie for like a year now. And, ladies and gentlemen (mostly ladies, we’ll be honest), it was totally worth the wait. While Magic Mike
is not the greatest movie ever, it is almost definitely the greatest MALE STRIPPER movie ever. Even people who only like ‘good’ (aka critically acclaimed) movies can enjoy this film because Steven Soderbergh directed it. It has a solid storyline, good acting, and was overall an actually good movie.Really, though, that’s not what you want to know about. What you want to know is, how good was the stripping? Were all of the actors involved convincing enough that we want to throw money at them? Don’t worry, we at PopJudgment are here to reassure you–and to tell you who to get most excited about. In order from worst to greatest, the strippers of Magic Mike
6.) Kevin Nash: So we had never heard of this guy before, but apparently he used to be a WWF wrestler. Known as “Tarzan” in the movie, he… kind of looked like Tarzan. So there’s that working for him. Otherwise he was kind of drunk a lot and definitely the worst dancer, the oldest, and the least attractive. Not our fave.
5.) Alex Pettyfer: Despite the fact that he arguably had the second-biggest role (after Channing Tatum) we sometimes forgot that he was in the movie. He was also the most unlikable of all the characters, which made his stripping scenes less fun to watch. Basically, he is super attractive but lacks the charisma the other performers had on stage.
4.) Matt Bomer: We didn’t actually see that much of him, which is partly why he is holding the middle spot on this list. From what we saw, he was great! We just wish we saw more of his scenes.
3.) Joe Manganiello: Without a doubt, we can say that this is Joe Manganiello’s favorite role that he has ever played. In every single scene, he looked like he was having the time of his life. “Big Dick Richie” also had some of the most memorable strip scenes and in character scenes. Not only are we introduced to him while he is sewing a g-string, the moment of his silhouette naked behind the screen was… illuminating! We would pay to see him strip.
2.) Matthew McConaughey: This man was born to play a sort-of-shady, idiotic, ignorant, narcissistic male stripper / entrepreneur. Luckily, the writers of Magic Mike basically wrote this part for him and allowed Matthew McConaughey to shine. Despite the fact that he only had one strip scene he was so good in it that he ranks number two. Also even when he wasn’t stripping, he was always clothed in Cowboy Western themed spandex and/or leather. It was great.
1.) Channing Tatum: Look, it wasn’t really a contest. Channing Tatum was always going to win this. Not only is he an actual former stripper, he is the best dancer of anyone in this cast and is playing a character with the word magic in his name. He is kind of required to be the greatest, and he sure didn’t let us down–although his amazing dancing did remind us how much we would like for Channing to appear in another Step Up movie. Also, he stripped as G.I. Joe, a role that Channing has in fact played as a movie star. Channing Tatum never lets his ladies down.
Clearly we really enjoyed Magic Mike and thought that it was a whole lot of fun. We just want to thank Hollywood for making this dream of ours happen. We got our money’s worth and saw some extremely attractive men strip–what more could you want from a movie? Really, what more could you want in life?