Anyway, we bring up the Oscars because if we remember correctly, there were all these really boring interviews of famous actors where they told you why they go to the movies. Blah blah blah… Celebrating cinema!…. whatever… boring. But it got us thinking… why do we go to the movies? Certainly not to see The Artist. And then we had an epiphany, it is movies like This Means War that actually inspire us to pay ten dollars and see a movie in theaters! Why? Because they give us exactly what we want. Thank you This Means War for reminding us why America loves movies.
Why We Actually Go to the Movies:
- Attractive People: Guys. Tom Hardy is SO HOT. Also Chris Pine and Reese Witherspoon! This cast was unbelievably good looking.
- To See the Good Guys Beat the Bad Guys: The bad guys in this movie were really bad. For starters, they were German. This is made obvious to the viewer because of their scary accents and names (Heinrich and Ivan). They also dressed in all black. And guess who the good guys were? That’s right. The American and British guys. WINNING. Also, the American CIA Agent’s name was FDR. Coincidence? We think not.
- Reformed Bad Boys: This character is a standard in the RomCom genre. Needless to say, one of our super sexy spies is a womanizer with trust issues. (Shocker!) We all learned long ago that good guys are boring. Unfortunately in the movie, Reese Witherspoon agrees.
- To See the “Mess” of a Girl Still Get the Guy: Okay, so admittedly, Reese Witherspoon is way too hot to be playing a girl who has such bad luck with guys, but she tries. They tried to make her seem more like us average looking mortals by making her do things like: wear her gym clothes out in public (still looked pretty), sing along to music while she was wearing her headphones in public (still looked pretty), and being insecure about her ex-boyfriend who is now engaged (still looked prettier than his fiancee). Aaaaaand she still got the guy in spite of her ‘awkwardness’ and ‘flaws’. Just like we all will some day!
- Some Sweet (choreographed) Action: Guys the action in this movie was super hilarious. Apparently, in order to use your gun in the CIA you have to be doing one of the following things: a.) running -nobody in the CIA walks, b.) sliding over something – preferably a car or a bar of some sort, c.) driving a stolen vehicle, or d.) hanging off something – preferably a helicopter or a building. This is the kind of gold we pay our hard earned money to see.
- Slapstick Comedy: This movie has some sophisticated jokes. Like, when she accidentally shoots him in the balls, or when they play all these pranks on each other, or when they make penis jokes! And the worst part is – we still laughed.
We could probably go on for a good while longer about why we love this movie. It was just so much fun! For all of you people still asleep and/or depressed about the state of American cinema from last Sunday, check this movie out. It promises a good time and some laughs and reminds us all why we, the people, actually go to the movies!
- Reese Witherspoon Takes This Means War to South Korea (popsugar.com)
- Reese Witherspoon Moves on From This Means War With Alexander Payne (popsugar.com)