Monthly Archives: February 2012

Feb 29 2012
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Movies, Oscars, THINGS WE LOVE

This Means War: Why We Actually Go See Movies

Ladies and gentlemen, after seeing the thought-provoking movie, Chronicle, and sitting through (part of) seriously one of the most boring Oscars of all time, we decided to go back to our roots and see a good old fashioned romantic comedy: This Means War. It was so satisfying. Not only is it your pretty standard RomCom (with some action thrown in the mix), it is one of the most unabashedly bad movies of the year… so bad that it is almost… good? Check out the trailer!
Just kidding folks, it is not actually a good movie, but it is a lot of fun to see. It fulfills pretty much all movie stereotypes in the most awesome way possible and shamelessly panders to the lowest common denominator. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, which is why it is the perfect antidote to the stuffy 2012 Academy Awards where we got to watch a silent film take home 5 Oscars and where Meryl Streep winning an Oscar was the only upset. Since when is Meryl Streep winning any sort of award a surprise? Ever???? But we digress….

Anyway, we bring up the Oscars because if we remember correctly, there were all these really boring interviews of famous actors where they told you why they go to the movies. Blah blah blah… Celebrating cinema!…. whatever… boring. But it got us thinking… why do we go to the movies? Certainly not to see The Artist. And then we had an epiphany, it is movies like This Means War that actually inspire us to pay ten dollars and see a movie in theaters! Why? Because they give us exactly what we want. Thank you This Means War for reminding us why America loves movies.

Why We Actually Go to the Movies:

  • Attractive People: Guys. Tom Hardy is SO HOT. Also Chris Pine and Reese Witherspoon! This cast was unbelievably good looking.
  • To See the Good Guys Beat the Bad Guys: The bad guys in this movie were really bad. For starters, they were German. This is made obvious to the viewer because of their scary accents and names (Heinrich and Ivan). They also dressed in all black. And guess who the good guys were? That’s right. The American and British guys. WINNING. Also, the American CIA Agent’s name was FDR. Coincidence? We think not.
  • Reformed Bad Boys: This character is a standard in the RomCom genre. Needless to say, one of our super sexy spies is a womanizer with trust issues. (Shocker!) We all learned long ago that good guys are boring. Unfortunately in the movie, Reese Witherspoon agrees.
  • To See the “Mess” of a Girl Still Get the Guy: Okay, so admittedly, Reese Witherspoon is way too hot to be playing a girl who has such bad luck with guys, but she tries. They tried to make her seem more like us average looking mortals by making her do things like: wear her gym clothes out in public (still looked pretty), sing along to music while she was wearing her headphones in public (still looked pretty), and being insecure about her ex-boyfriend who is now engaged (still looked prettier than his fiancee). Aaaaaand she still got the guy in spite of her ‘awkwardness’ and ‘flaws’. Just like we all will some day!
  • Some Sweet (choreographed) Action: Guys the action in this movie was super hilarious. Apparently, in order to use your gun in the CIA you have to be doing one of the following things: a.) running -nobody in the CIA walks, b.) sliding over something – preferably a car or a bar of some sort, c.) driving a stolen vehicle, or d.) hanging off something – preferably a helicopter or a building. This is the kind of gold we pay our hard earned money to see.
  • Slapstick Comedy: This movie has some sophisticated jokes. Like, when she accidentally shoots him in the balls, or when they play all these pranks on each other, or when they make penis jokes! And the worst part is – we still laughed.


We could probably go on for a good while longer about why we love this movie. It was just so much fun! For all of you people still asleep and/or depressed about the state of American cinema from last Sunday, check this movie out. It promises a good time and some laughs and reminds us all why we, the people, actually go to the movies!

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Feb 26 2012
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Movies

Chronicle: Unexpectedly Thought-Provoking


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So, as usual, we chose to see this movie based purely on who was in the cast. And since two of our favorite things are The Wire and Friday Night Lights, we pretty much HAD to see this movie. Why, you ask? What do these two shows have in common? (Besides their AWESOMENESS.) Michael B. Jordan, that’s what.
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Michael played Wallace on The Wire and Vince (who narrowly avoided our top 5 favorite characters list) on Friday Night Lights. He’s in Chronicle and since we desperately want him to have a successful career, we had to go see it. You may have noticed we get a little overly invested in the lives of actors we like.

Now to the actual movie. It was pretty good, definitely more thought-provoking than you would expect from the trailer. The story revolves around three boys who are seniors in high school and who gain superpowers (largely telekinesis). As the movie progresses, they have to learn how to manage these powers and the changes they bring to their lives. The story is told through one of the boys’ video cameras – so we don’t get to see everything.

First of all, we were a little concerned about the “found footage” aspect of the movie before going into it. That’s the premise of the title–a chronicle of their journey with superpowers is being constructed from the film that the boys took themselves, as well as film shot by their friends and other observers. Unlike Cloverfield or The Blair Witch Project, though, these boys were permitted to have steady camera hands that prevented us from feeling nauseous throughout the entire movie.

The thing about Chronicle was that while you’d expect it to be mostly high school boys using superpowers to perform pranks–which did happen–it actually served as a commentary on how one chooses to use powers, and how those choices affect those around us. This is an especially sobering thought when the people making those choices are eighteen-year-old boys and have exacerbating circumstances that don’t allow them to make these choices in a vacuum. Even when looking at the poor choices, it was hard to say that we wouldn’t make the same choices in the same situation.

Additionally, it was thought provoking in a way that we honestly did not expect. It addressed issues like domestic abuse, terminal illness, and bullying in a seriously heart wrenching way. And even more than that, all the characters were seriously well-developed. There was a bad guy – but he wasn’t really the bad guy. We understood all of his choices, and while we did not condone them, we understood why he was making them.

Before we conclude, really briefly – it just has to be said that the special effects overall were pretty good. Not mind blowing, but pretty good. With the exception of the part where one of the characters was in “Tibet.” A.k.a. in front of a green screen with a kind of tacky desk-top looking picture and some “Tibetan monks” chanting in the background… Embarrassing.

But overall, Chronicle is definitely one of the best movies we’ve seen this spring, and was an unexpectedly original approach to the idea of gaining superpowers. For us (and for Michael B. Jordan), you should give it a shot.

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Feb 22 2012
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Oscars

Most Boring Oscars Ever

You may or may not have noticed that we stopped watching Oscar contenders. That is due to the fact that this is shaping up to be the most boring Oscars ever, as we have absolutely nothing invested in the movies that are in contention.
All of the Oscar prognosticators have been saying for weeks now that The Artistpretty much has Best Picture in the bag. And yet, have we been to see it? No way, it looks super boring and only has French people we’ve never heard of in it.Unfortunately this sort of sums up the Oscars as a whole this year. Nothing interesting going on.Inherent Problems, or Why We Remain Uninterested:
1) There are only two nominees for Best Original Song. One of them is “Man or Muppet.” And yet, inexplicably, the Muppets are not performing. What??? This was clearly the most interesting thing that was going to happen this year and they nixed it.
2) Why are there so many nominees for Best Picture? Why are so few of them interesting? Why is one of them secretly a Lifetime Movie (The Help)? And why was it our favorite?????
3) While we love Billy Crystal, we were pretty excited about Eddie Murphy hosting it… Alas it is not happening… Brett Ratner definitely deserved to be fired for his homophobic comments, but we were sad that Eddie Murphy went with him.
4) Best Animated Feature as a category is just embarrassing for the Academy. Since they’ve expanded the number of Best Picture nominees, the quality animated movies (Up, Toy Story 3) are nominated for Best Picture. Sadly this year there was nothing quality enough for that to happen, and instead we are faced with Oscar nominee Kung Fu Panda 2. Come on.
5) Why is Harry Potter not nominated for more things? At the end of the Lord of the Rings franchise The Return of the King got a few Oscars despite being our least favorite film of the series! Harry Potter deserved a few more nods than it got!!

Fundamentally, there’s nothing to root for here. While we liked Hugo and The Help, we didn’t love them enough to actually be upset about them losing categories. Unlike years when everyone is rallying around a movie, there’s nothing here for anyone to really care about. Oscars: we would have cared move if you’d nominated Harry Potter. Obviously we’ll still check it out, but out of habit (and under protest) rather than from any personal investment. Hopefully it’s more interesting next year.

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Feb 19 2012
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Movies, Music

“Safe and Sound”: The Least Exciting Part of The Hunger Games

We are so hugely excited for The Hunger Games that it’s almost a little embarrassing at this point. That said, so is everyone else, right? Taylor Swift sure is. Tay-Tay released her music video for the song she has on the movie’s soundtrack, “Safe and Sound.” Sure, it’s featuring The Civil Wars, but this video is all Taylor, all the time.

Honestly… it’s kind of boring. Like, Taylor kind of wanders around and looks sad in the woods for the vast majority of the song. Every once in a while they cut to The Civil Wars to remind us that they’re singing this too, but mostly they’re just standing around too. Although at least they’re inside and look less upset than Taylor.

We think that there might be a plot… but we are unsure. She finds a Mockingjay pin (the main character’s symbol, for the uninitiated) at one point, and at the end there is this deer that dissolves into smoke. Also Taylor seems to be hanging out at a grave sometimes? So maybe someone died? But other times she’s just singing out of the window… Unclear if we’re supposed to know what’s going on.

Also she is dressed completely inappropriately to be wandering outside. Why are you barefoot, Taylor?? Why are you wearing a filmy white dress? Katniss would never do such a thing.

Ultimately this is a confusing and slightly disappointing music video. We were kind of hoping for some scenes from the film – or at least a little bit more action in this video! Seriously. Nothing happens. But we still love The Hunger Games, Taylor Swift and the song! Just… why is the video so boring?????

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Feb 15 2012
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Movies

The Vow: Pretty Much What You’d Expect

First of all, we admit, with ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME that we saw this movie on opening day. (With the rest of America because it was #1 at the box office last weekend!) And it was… pretty fun! It fulfilled basically every expectation that we had of it, which is really all you can ask.

We loved:
-CHANNING TATUM. That man is just so beautiful. We would love to wake up from a coma and have him profess his undying love.
-Rachel McAdams had a cool sister in the movie!
-CHANNING TATUM.
-Their super corny wedding scene in the Art Institute of Chicago! Yes, so so corny but it was really cute. And managed to conveniently foreshadow later events in the movie.
-CHANNING TATUM. Did we mention he was in this movie? Because he is.

We were confused by:
-THAT HAT. Fedoras. Just… no. They are NEVER OKAY. Even on Channing Tatum.
–Rachel McAdams’s ability to find Channing Tatum attractive while wearing a fedora.
-Why Rachel McAdams was not immediately won over by Channing Tatum. We sure were.
-Why they decided to sell Channing Tatum as a hipster. Everyone knows that Channing Tatum is always blue-collar (see him in Fighting or Dear John) and/or a dancer (see him in Step Up or Step Up 2). Preferably both. Inexplicably, neither of these roles were prominently highlighted.
-Rachel McAdams’s ex-fiance’s hair. What on earth was going on with that?? The guy was good-looking but that hair was a force of nature. Slash modeled after the Sonic the Hedgehog.
-Wait… this wasn’t originally a Nicholas Sparks novel? Seeing that couple it was based on at the end totally threw us.

We hated:
-Rachel McAdams’s hair post-brain injury… since when were weird all over blonde-ish highlights a thing? They were not cute.
-Rachel McAdams’s dad. Dude was kind of a dick.
-That ending was kind of bullshit.

Overall we’re glad that we saw The Vow. It was cute, Channing Tatum is GORGEOUS, and we like Rachel McAdams even when she is being dumb and not falling in love with Channing Tatum. However, this is obviously not going to compare to the masterpieces Channing Tatum has coming up in 2012: 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike. Here’s to Channing getting back to his roots and the parts we believe him in!

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Feb 12 2012
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Music, THINGS WE LOVE

Ni**as in Paris Music Video!

Jay-Z and Kanye West finally released a video for their biggest hit from the Watch the Throne album, “Ni**as in Paris.” Some epic shit is going down here, people. They have basically set up the video to be like a mini concert experience, only with more awesomeness.
So at the concert, there was a notable absence of the Greek / Roman / Medieval Imagery that was a key feature of Kanye’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy concert. When we saw him perform at Austin City Limits, Kanye performed with a Roman / Greek sculptural relief as his background. If we were better acquainted with ancient art we might be able to tell you which famous relief it was – but as it is, we are woefully uncultured in that respect. However, in this music video, Kanye managed to fit in lots of fancy imagery! (See Fancy Imagery List at the bottom.) However, the fancy imagery wasn’t only the beginning of the amazing-ness! Here is a list of our favorite parts:

Favorite parts:
-THAT TIGER. Some people were extremely confused when we were trying to describe the animal imagery present at the concert to them, but here it is for everyone to see. Except that because of the kaleidoscope theme, there are like 6 tigers!
-The kaleidoscope. Really, really cool, especially when they had all of the random multiplying models that were definitely not in the concert audience.
-Monuments. Apparently Jay-Z and Kanye can make Paris monuments pop up out of the ground. We always suspected, but now we’ve seen it firsthand.
-Kanye’s skirt. As we’ve discussed, this leather skirt is one of the most amazing things we’ve ever seen… and now everyone can see it!
-Kanye doing the exact same dance as Justin Bieber ! Remember that heinous Christmas duet with Mariah Carey?! See Kanye doing some sweet moves at 1:17, and Justin Bieber doing it in “All I Want for Christmas is You” at 0:40. Admittedly when Kanye does it, it is a lot more badass.
-Roc-a-fella hand sign (that diamond) prominently featured. Kanye and Jay-Z are nothing if not branding geniuses.

Fancy Imagery List
-2:00 → circular sculptural relief
-2:58 → flying horse sculpture maybe?
-3:04 → Kaleidoscope view of the Notre Dame Cathedral
-3:22 → distressed sculpture man
-3:27 → woman and cherub looking things
-3:32 → Lion and horse
-3:44 → Roman soldier with a LIGHT SABER

Guys, this video is TOTALLY worth watching! Especially if you are an Art History Major! Or enthusiast! We hope that they keep making music videos like this together!

Also has everyone seen the new pictures of Blue Ivy Carter?? She is seriously a gorgeous baby. Jay-Z and Beyonce look happier than ever and we are so happy for them!

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Feb 08 2012
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Movies, THINGS WE LOVE

5 Things We Didn’t Know David Fincher Directed

So first of all, let us just say that Internet Movie Database is the best thing that was ever invented. We spend a little bit too much time on it. So, one day, as usual, we were perusing IMDB.com and decided to take a look at David Fincher’s page. He is the renowned director of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Social Network, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Fight Club. But in addition to his well known feature films, he has directed many other things in his career: music videos, documentaries, and video shorts. And guys let us tell you, they are all worth watching!!!
5. Se7en

Ok, so apparently everyone else in the entire world knew that David Fincher directed this. But we didn’t. This is that super famous movie about a serial killer who kills people to punish them for the seven deadly sins. It has Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow, and lots of suspense. Plus it will help you remember the seven deadly sins and why you should NEVER EVER commit them.


4. Panic Room

Hey guys, so it turned out that David Fincher actually discovered Kristen Stewart! Just kidding, but she was in this when she was like 12. This movie centers around Jodie Foster’s character Meg and her daughter. They are trapped in their house’s panic room when some criminals break in. They think that they are safe in the panic room, but it turns out that the criminals want something IN THE PANIC ROOM! Uh oh!! Will they be able to get out? Will they live? This movie is suspenseful and scary guys.

But, here is the real question we have about this movie: Who actually has a panic room installed in their house? Because we don’t.


3. Paula Abdul’s “Forever Your Girl” Music Video (1989)Paula Abdul, tap dancing AND baby Elijah Wood! We love this music video! But it does not exactly fit with the rest of David Fincher’s resume… Also the whole premise of the video is that she is some kind of talent agent, we are unclear what that has to do with the actual words of the song. But whatever. YOU GO GIRL!

2. Alien^3 

Man, Sigourney Weaver cannot catch a break. These aliens just keep coming after her! So many that David Fincher decided it was necessary to direct a third movie about it! It was however, nominated for an Oscar for Best Effects. So there’s that. We remain confused as to why there are four movies in this franchise, and a fifth one on the way.

1. Madonna’s “Express Yourself” Music Video (1989)

So as far as music videos go, this one is pretty high concept and artsy, not to mention renowned for its feminist message. It was also the most expensive music video when it was made, with a reported budget of $5 million dollars according to our other favorite website, Wikipedia. Still, after we saw The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, we would never have thought that the mind that brought us that, also brought us the Madonna video with the most shirtless men in the rain that we’ve ever seen. (We are totally on board with that by the way.)

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Feb 05 2012
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TV

“Smash” Pilot: Please Watch This. For Us.

We love it when TV shows put premieres online early. For those of us who were lucky enough to catch the “Smash” pilot, it was 46 minutes of musical theater and television awesomeness! For those of you who couldn’t watch it – here are all the reasons you should when it premieres this Monday, February 6!

1. It feels so real. Despite its showy, musical theater trappings (which we love) the characters at the heart of this story are so real and heart breaking. Anybody who knows people in the theater world, has seen A Chorus Line or has auditioned for a high school musical understands how hard actors work and how difficult and emotional that kind of life is. While watching the pilot, we wanted both Karen (Katherine McPhee) and Ivy (Megan Hilty) to be cast as Marilyn because they both have compelling stories, and are phenomenally talented. (Okay, secretly, we wanted Ivy to be cast a little bit more than we wanted Karen to be, but that is just because one of us maybe saw Megan Hilty as Glinda the Good Witch in Wicked on Broadway…. ) In the actual show though, it feels believable that they’re having a hard time making the choice–there’s not one that’s demonstrably a better fit than the other.

2. Debra Messing: We are just so happy that she is back on television! She plays Julia, the likable, married, working woman who is trying to adopt a baby and write a Broadway musical at the same time. Along the way she has to deal with the overly dramatic personalities in the theater world, her husband nagging her about her job, and it appears that she also has a teenage son. Mostly Debra Messing is just delightful even (especially?) when her life is out of control.

3. Everyone loves musicals: Don’t front! We know you do! Broadway is just as American as jazz music, reality TV, baseball, and fast food. In creating a plot around a Broadway musical, “Smash” has tastefully built on Glee’s success and made a sophisticated show for an older, more mature audience. It also gives people insight into the difficult, political, emotional and dramatic behind the scenes process of putting on a Broadway musical! The potential for drama is endless AND (unlike in normal television shows) it will always end in a SONG AND DANCE!!! What is not to love about that?

4. Anjelica Huston: First of all, with an Academy Award under her belt, this woman is by far the most legit film actress on the show. Secondly, her character on this show is BOSS, and in the preview for the rest of the film throws drinks in people’s faces like 3 separate times! Drama! We love her so much! She is also one of our favorite actresses from one of our other favorite films – 50/50 where she played Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s overbearing mother and was superb, as usual. She is just an all around exceptional actress and choice for this show!

5. Lastly, dear God, NBC needs this. We want to encourage NBC to continue making quality programming, rather than exclusively focusing on reality TV. So let’s all watch it. Please.

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Feb 01 2012
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Movies

D-Rad, Why So Scary?

Obviously, there are a lot of movies that we choose not to see. It’s usually a pretty clear-cut decision, but this weekend, Daniel Radcliffe is testing all of our usual decision mechanisms. Well, our main decision mechanism at least: Do we like the cast? Because you saw what we are going to see for Taylor Kitsch. We’re committed like that.

We are huge Harry Potter fans, and yes, we like Daniel Radcliffe quite a lot. We even saw him in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. On Broadway. In NEW YORK. So we want to support him! We want for D-Rad to have a successful movie career in addition to his already successful stage career!

On the other hand, we are so not scary movie people. And seriously, The Woman in Black looks terrifying. Check out the UK trailer–we think it’s scarier than the U.S. one:

WHAT EVEN JUST HAPPENED?? Why are there so many scary dolls? And what is with those three little girls? Why is the Woman in Black so mean?? What is up with that lamp?

After seeing this trailer, we decided to investigate why Daniel Radcliffe would do this to us. Why would he make us want to see a movie that is so clearly going to give us nightmares? The trailer is giving us nightmares!!!! And we are about as far away from Victorian England as you can be!!!

An interview he did with the San Francisco Chronicle helped us understand his decision process: “This film is a film that has a great story but it is driven by characters at the heart of it. It fit in perfectly. It was going to be filming when I was on break from finishing “Potter” and starring in “How to Succeed,” so it was perfectly timed out. Also, when I was reading the script, I was surprised to be enjoying a horror film because I have never gravitated towards that in my own life.”

Okay, fine. But we need another reason. A BETTER reason.

Radcliffe: “I suggested (director) James (Watkins) audition my real-life godson who auditioned and was great and is great in the film. At the time when we were filming, I was so obsessed with him having a good time and making sure he wasn’t cold or wasn’t freaking out that I didn’t really pay attention to the fact that he is actually quite a good little actor.”

That’s really cute. Godson! Oh man. Looks like we are going to see this nightmare-fest after all. D-Rad, we hope you’re grateful.

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